Most weekends you can find me either at home with my son, at the park, or anywhere there are other children. The transition from maiden to mom hasn't been too hard. I spent most of my twenties single and "care-free". I was living with my dad by my mid twenties, and I only really had to check in to let my dad know where I was at or when I'd get home. Out of love and curtesy for dad ofcourse. Looking back at my 20's, I see I did a lot. I couldn't have done any of that if I was married with children.
In the beginning of my 30's I was living alone in a studio with my cat. That was time needed for my personal growth. I learned a lot living alone. I grew to love my freedom, independence and even loneliness. I had a lot of time to myself and for myself. I didn't anticipate getting married and starting a family within a span of a year. But, I knew when that time came I would be ready to sacrifice some luxuries (for the time being) and make my family my first priority.
I look back sometimes with fondness of those times. Sometimes I see my friend's fb posts, tweets or photos on social media going out, being carefree and I miss it. To be candid, I've gotten jealous for a split second. Mostly, it's been the "I'm missing out" feeling. But then I wake up to the chitter chatter of my son and then followed by some wet kisses. I know the grass is just fine where I'm at.
I still need to make time for my friends though. I need time to vent or hear my friends vent. They've been flexible with me, and for the most part have been ok with having my son tag along. Or having them come over for dinner with my family. I've also realized I should be connecting more with friends who also have children. The fact is that this is new for me. I'm no longer a maiden, single and carefree. I am a proud mom and wife. I have a family that I care deeply about. I just have to learn to make time for my friends too.
I am learning to navigate this new terrain of life. I am enjoying this new chapter in my life. It's not always rainbows and sunshines, but the love is strong and the joyous times continue to outweigh the storms. Usually after the storm there is a rainbow anway.